Thursday, January 06, 2011

Seven with one blow...

Remember the story about the little tailor who killed seven flies with one swat and it got turned into seven giants with one blow?

Well, our 7th giant fell today.  Seven months of deployment behind us...commemorated with a morale call from John where he told me he loved me and missed me and was proud of me...

...and the tears started rolling.

Seven months sounds so...well, so do-able when you type it out like that, but lest anyone not realize how LONG deployments really feel - we're talking about  28 weeks - two semesters of college - over 1/2 year - 7 major holidays - 217 days... 

Pick your poison...  I personally like to count the days when I'm feeling bitter or lonely or sad and want to wallow a little bit.  TWO HUNDRED SEVENTEEN DAYS. 

I just yelled that at you.  Thats how I wallow.  I may have even done a little heavenward fist shaking for emphasis...

In one month from today he should be home for R&R.  In one month he should be laying on the couch with his head in my lap letting me play with his hair while the girls snuggle beside him or play near us.   THAT sounds like heaven to me.  THAT sounds like the best day in the whole world.

My outlook on what Heaven is has changed drastically since this deployment...it used to include bonbons,  a perfect body that never required shaving or exercise, the ability to fly and Pantene hair - you know...the hair that shines and swirls around your face?

Now I just want to hold John in my arms and play with his hair.  Thats good enough for me...let me be lumpy, plumpy, hairy,  whatever...as long as I've got him close to me. 

So, if you can't tell, I'm lonely tonight.  I'm in the mood to cry.  I don't feel strong.  I don't WANT to do this anymore.  I just want it to be DONE already.,

But until then...and for today...at the very least I can say that I killed 7 with one blow...

5 comments:

TheMuffinMom said...

Once again, you soldiers' wives remind us what sacrifice really means, and what really matters in life: family. I wish you were close enough to scold me whenever I lose sight of that!

Cothran Family said...

I can see you in my mind doing the heavenly fist shake. I know you probably don't want to hear it but it makes me realize how much I take my significant half for granted. If nothing else you have taught me about patience and love. I love you, I think you are amazing and I feel like wallowing with you and I have nothing legitimate to wallow about.

The Days of your Life said...

Your post made me cry and I hope you see my facebook post! We love you and are praying for you! Hang in there! Sending big hugs and kisses from Virginia, hoping it will make you feel better!

The Hannant Family said...

My heartaches for you. I know how much I miss Dave when he is gone for a few days. You are so strong. I hope today finds you a little happier and if you ever need anything, I'm here. I'll do whatever I can for you. Wallow away. Love you.

Miss Debbie said...

Our Savior Jesus thankfully taugh us how to grieve - and Anna, he taught you well. Feeling as you do is grieving, and you are OK to do it as much as your heart needs it. I love you guys so much - and appreciate your family sacrifice. Just think ~ Less than 30 days and John can hold you and kiss away those tears. Reunions are so great!! xoxo