Wednesday, June 26, 2013

What the Bojiggly jiggly?

My mom called me the other day to tell me about a "NEW WEIGHTLOSS MACHINE THAT IS SIMPLY AMAZING!"

Adore my mom...and yes the all caps is necessary because she is a woman that gets quite excited about very funny things like this amazing weight loss machine. One might call her an "alarmist", but I don't. Nope...not me.

Like Y2K. Remember that? Yes, she was terrified that wild dogs would be running through the streets because of the end of the world. And it took her forever to get a Facebook page because the internet will STEAL YOUR IDENTITY!

So...she tells me about this new machine her chiropractor has in his office...and she called it the jiggle jiggle machine. I promise you this is a G rated post except I may have to move that to PG simply because she called it the jiggle jiggle machine and that just sounds wrong.

So the jiggle jiggle machine is something you stand on and then you just turn up the jiggling vibration to as high as you want it to go...its supposed to tone and firm muscle and help you burn calories. Only 10-15 minutes per day is the claim and unbelievable health benefits...

But anywho...she tells me to find it (she always calls me to search the internet for her because I'm really good at that google thing.) because she wants to know how much it costs...

I found a few way out of any kind of intelligent human price range...and then...SHAZAM. $250 bucks on Crazy Fit Massager Full Body Vibration Machine! And its on sale and you know you want to find out more about the jiggle jiggle machine. Plus its 87% off right now and you save $1,743.51. Seriously.

It makes you want one...doesn't it?

And I couldn't help myself...I sent her the link and let her know now is her CHANCE to own her very own jiggle jiggle machine.

I'm guessing my stepdad won't mind watching her exercise on that thing.


I received an email today...

She.  bought.  it.

ha ha ha ha!  She is now a proud owner of a jiggly jiggly machine.

I cannot stop laughing...

(and I can't wait to try it!)

Monday, June 17, 2013

Running (wo)man

Anybody remember the 90's?  Actually, clarification - early 90's?  Those were the days when I wore Cross Color clothing to look rasta hip hop cool?

C'mon...Cross Colours?

No way you don't remember me running around in those bright red pants...or yellow.  Good lord...I really did dress like that...but even more than the clothes was the DANCE MOVES.

Little known fact:  I was voted "most likely to dance at random times" at our last family reunion and I blame thank my 90's dance crew for making that a reality in my life.

Like the Running Man...

Photo added to remind you exactly how cool one looks when performing the running man correctly.  I used to rock the HOUSE with my dance moves.

And then I lost the fire...the color...the moves...and got really fat.  Ugh.

So...this morning I got up at o'dark hundred and got ready to run on my treadmill as my first official day of my C25K program.  And just as I was heading downstairs both kidlets woke themselves up.  Now I know myself well enough to know that if I don't bust out the exercise in the morning...I can procrastinate and excuse away every other chance to do I got those kids up and cooked them breakfast then stuck baby boy outside in the garage in his highchair and baby girl in a camp chair and they had their breakfast while I did my morning run.

And really this has nothing to do with the running man dance move except that when I am in good enough shape to not slip and fall or jiggle the bod all over the place I will once again be rockin' the house with my own running (wo)man dance moves...

Thursday, June 06, 2013

3 months

We just passed the 3 month mark for deployment.  Only 9 months to go.  If you haven't read my letter to deployment...let me give you the cliff notes version...

Dear deployment:

You suck.