Friday, February 08, 2013

Funtucky Family of Four...

September 11, you know what you were doing?  I was flying on a military jet from Ramstein, Germany to Baltimore, MD.  It was the final stage of our move from germany back to the states...a move that was both heartbreakingly difficult and exhausting. 

What did I love about Germany.  Pretty much everything.  I am partial to the European way of life.  I love NOT having walmarts, 7-elevens and Walgreens on every corner.  I love open markets and stores that close on Sundays.  I love the quiet town we lived in and the awesome best friend neighbors that we had...I loved my German friends, we loved the library and librarians.  I miss the cute towns that we'd drive through, red roofs, churches in the town square, crazy statues honoring some random person, fountains, ornate designs on random buildings.  I miss cobblestone, and pedestrian zones, and the "feed the deer" park, the autobahn and driving fast.  I miss spatzle and brats.  I miss my backyard and watching the kids play.  I miss being able to walk wherever I want and having the shopette about 4 blocks away for those last minute treat needs.  I miss random festivals or holidays that seem to happen just about every week.  I miss a weekend trip to Prague or Munich.  I miss stumbling through their language and sorting euros from dollars... I just miss Germany. 

And now we've relocated to K.E.N.T.U.C.K.Y.  0_o  a.k.a...Funtucky!

It was the best choice out of the final four options.  We were offered Fort Drum, NY (and 8 feet of snow 8 months out of the year), Fort Hood, TX (in the middle of nothing and nowhere), Fort Riley, KS (Even more in the middle of nowhere.) and Fort Campbell, KY...and what came out of my mouth is something I never thought I'd say...."I think Kentucky is the best choice."

But, being here now I realize that it actually is a pretty great military base and a town full of cool things to discover.  First of all, its not really Kentucky.  We are smack dab in the middle of the border of Kentucky and Tennessee.  Our house is actually in Tennessee, but we live on base and the post office is in Kentucky so thats what our address is.  There is a road just a few blocks from us called State Line Road.  And that is literally what it is.  The state  line.  I wonder if you are being chased by Kentucky cops and cross that line if they have to stop because they lose jurisdiction....?  Hmmmm....not something I'll run out and try, but its an interesting thought.

Clarksville, TN is the main town attached to the base.  Its essentially a 20-mile long strip mall.  I'm not kidding and there are not 1....2...or 3...but FOUR Walmarts from one end to the other.  The other thing they have a plethora of is Waffle House, which is kind of like a Denny's diner, but think smaller and greasier.  There must be 10 Waffle Houses along the main drag.  I'm not kidding.  We do have Nashville just an hour away, Land Between the Lakes just an hour the other direction and I'm kind of excited to see what the South has to offer.  I've seen the Opryland hotel and driven past Dollywood.  I hear the summers here are fantastic with more than enough to do.

So....I guess we've become a Funtucky family of four at this point and as military families do...we'll make the best and the most out of the opportunity we've been given to see new things, meet new people and have new adventures. 

I do promise that we won't encourage inbreeding or start making moonshine, however I can't promise my kids won't run barefoot all summer long and that some of those redneck jokes won't hit close to home.

You might be a redneck if...

You got stopped by a state trooper.
He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, 'Bout What?'

Your state's got a new law that says
when a couple get divorced,
they are still legally brother and sister.

Your sister is the third generation
of women in your family to conceive
a baby as a result of an alien abduction.

The centerpiece on your dining room table
is an original signed work
by a famous taxidermist.
You've got more than
one brother named 'Darryl'.



kajr said...

Love your humor!

J Butler said...

Anna: Welcome to the South!! Can't wait to have you guys up to visit Dollywood and the Smokies, and to come see you guys in March when we visit Mammoth Caves! Woot!

The Hannant Family said...

I recommend not eating at Waffle House. It's not good for your health. I also love that you are saying walmarts. I get that you are using it at a plural, but having lived in the south a couple of times, I read it as singular. Sounds like you are already having fun in funtucky.