SHE CAME HOME

Mimms that crazy cat thats been missing for 3 weeks magically showed up on our doorstep at 11pm the other night.

She's home! Woohoooo!

Both cats are getting collars and headed home to sissy Sarah's house today! Dave is staying at Sarah's house for the summer and is going to take care of the kitties while she is gone.

I'm so relieved that Mimms showed up. R-E-L-I-E-V-E-D. I thought she was gone forever and now the kitties are all cuddled up and meowing how much they missed each other.

And as a shout out to Dave...if you want a kids party you have to call him. He's the best.

www.DavidFreleng.com.

Talk about funny...you can see some of his made-for grownups puppet shows on Youtube.

Hoorah! The kitties are reunited!

Empty House Party

We've decided to hold an empty house party. Actually, its a way to say goodbye to our friends that want to stop by once its all packed up and ready to go.

I thought I'd pull out the chocolate fountain and then its kind of a potluck style. :)

We won't have any furniture in the house and boxes piled high ready for the movers the next morning.

Am I insane?

Does this sound like a party or a headache?

Prohibition

If you were around in 1919...just before prohibition started and came across this poster...

I mean seriously...would you quit drinking?

Rant...Rant...Rant

This whole looking back at how I was raised thing that occured when I went through my baby boxes has opened my eyes this weekend to why I sometimes struggle so much with little giggle.

This weekend is a perfect case in point...As many times as she is adorable she is liable to throw a fit. These fits are because she has to help with chores.

Its so foreign to anything I have ever experienced to have a child throw a temper tantrum for having to help. Its not like we're asking her to clean the entire bathroom...just put the towels in the linen closet or while the rest of us weeded for an hour all she had to do was put the pulled weeds in the bucket and you'd have thought that the end of the world had come for her.

And its not like we're sitting around eating bonbons and watching a movie while forcing little Cinderella to work...we give her the "easy" job so we don't have to listen to the complaining as much or as long. She's often done long before anyone else is done with their chores.

This weekend...when given a choice of helping and being part of the "team" or doing her own thing she readily threw down her gardening tools and headed out because, "I don't want to do this so I don't have to."

WOW. I'm trying to remember what would have happened to me when I was kid if I tried to pull that little trick.

I had to take time out this weekend to think about this because it was really making me crazy. I have a general problem with parents letting their kids make up excuses for anything and everything or even worse, telling them its someone else's fault that they didn't succeed...I've never seen the benefit of letting a kid think they are the cat's meow or that the world should cater to them without them actually trying and failing a few times... Why is it so bad to fail? Or lose? Sure it doesn't make you feel great, but its not going to kill you either...puts life into perspective a little bit.

Now, this mindset that "if you don't want to do it you don't have to because you deserve to only have to do what you want" just drives me crazy.

It makes sense....talking about Miss giggle in particular...this is why she has been expelled from her 4th preschool in as many years...if she doesn't want to do it she doesn't. Period. She'd rather throw a fit, throw paint, kick the teacher and punch out other kids than have to sit at the table. And her understanding of why the school won't let her back in..."My teacher is mean to me so we had to go to a school with nicer teachers."

Uh. What? I suppose that at this point I can't blame a 6-year old. She isn't help responsible for her behavior. She is being told that someone else "forced" her to behave that way. So I suppose I blame the parents?

Ok...so, I'm one of the "parents." In Mr. C and my defense I suppose I can say that every other weekend doesn't allow us to exactly make a huge impact on the way this little girl is raised. So what I'd really love to do is point a big huge finger at Cruella and say..."YOU DID THIS."

But then again...Chortle is 8 and was a rock star. He was helpful and didn't complain and worked hard and gets a huge reward for it...a trip to ChuckECheese with his dad to spend some "guy time."

And yours truly gets to stay home with the other one to watch the fit because she doesn't get to go...so, is it really Cruella or is it just LG's personality?

All I know is that its a no win situation...What is a step-parent or non-custodial parent supposed to do? If she lived here full time she would learn quickly that those types of fits get you nowhere but in your room...being helpful gets a reward...being snotty and selfish gets you nowhere....

So maybe I blame the court system? The court system is biased against fathers. I don't just believe that...I KNOW that. People wonder why dad's disappear out of their kids lives...I'll tell you why...ex-wives make life miserable. They do everything in their power to make sure that the time spent with their father is a nothing but drama and headache...aside from the antics they themselves decide to force on you like phone calls and emails and drama galore they breed their children to behave expecially poorly when at their dad's house and tell them they don't have to obey or listen or anything else because he's not "custodial." How does a 6 year old know that word? All I see is a 6-year old mini-me of Cruella being bred and I just stand back and watch...Its not my job, my opportunity or in my ability to make it stop. There is truly NOTHING I can do. (That was a hard lesson for me this weekend.)

And so every other weekend, which is quickly coming to twice a year or so, we have this selfish little thing that doesn't see any reason to be helpful or loving or kind unless its to her benefit. Who kicks and screams and cries because she has to help around the house or make her bed or clear the dinner table. Who tells us that her job is NOT to help, but to watch TV. Thats why they have housecleaner ladies and gardners. I can't believe the life of luxury is expected at age 6...I really can't. and what are we supposed to do? Spend the whole weekend snarling and grumpy? As it is Mr. C only gets 5 days a month with these kids...why does he want to spend it disciplining and trying to teach manners?

So, I suppose at this point I'm throwing up my hands and saying I don't know what to do. There are basic rules of this house that we expect to be obeyed. No hitting or kicking. No lying. No throwing toys or books when angry, etc. Maybe I expect those things and only those thing? Just give up on any of the other stuff and decide to be a "Disney parent?"

This is not a new trial. I 'm sure many full time parents say the same type of things....I'm sure many stepmoms or non-custodial parent's before me have lamented exactly what I'm lamenting. And so it goes....

Packing memories

Ok...while packing I came across some of the greatest old memory folders...things I hadn't seen in years and just made my heart smile and laugh out loud. I was hoping I could find the letter Emma sent me my first week in college asking if I had any friends yet....now that is priceles...instead...from the pile I had in front of me I picked two of my favorites to share here...

First - a paper from a Family Home Evening when i was 6 years old. Jenna would have been 10...Ray was 8...Sarah was 4...Becca was 2. Look how much my family loves me...Also - take special note where my mom says I help out around the house...


Now part two...I'm in highschool and apparently my helpful around the house days were over. Its true what they say, you know...you really learn to appreciate what your parents went through. This letter, however, made me laugh so hard. I sure love you, mom.


I also came across a bunch of poems I'd written for my mom...my all-time favorite...

I love my mother very much
Her nice brown hair
Her tender touch
Although sometimes we fight and blame
I love my mother still the same.

By me...age 8ish. :)

Blast from the past!

I had a blast from the past today. My dear college roommate that I will love and adore forever left me a little note on baby chucklehead's blog. I couldn't believe it was her!

I loved seeing her face and 3 kids! It just blows me away...I remember her wedding...and her being pregnant with her first so many long years ago...but it just seems like yesterday.

So, I had to just write up a few of my favorite memories as a little tribute to her in memory of all the grand times we had....

The love hut
Catching Mike and Lori making out
sledding in the dead of winter
all the couples...you and Bart, Devin and Smell, Dave and Dani, DK and the girl of the week....
off roading in the beast
Nugget
squeeze those cheeseburgers
watching the intramural flag football team
Fresno vs BYU game
Karaoke at Mike's house (I still have the tape! ha ha ha)
Duper
The mouse -- oatmeal
killing heather's plants with bleach and that SALSA!
Dingleberry
Bart's personal planetarium
so many good times...I could probably go on for another page or two...

Anyhow...raise a glass to good friends, fun times and great memories!

CHEERS!

BYU-Fresno Game

Awwwwww....

His personal planetarium

Wedding day...

Anyone else find this amusing?

Memorial Day

It was a rainy day here in Portland, but most days in Portland are rainy so that didn't stop us.

We headed out to the Gales Creek Cemetary where Mr. C's grandfather and other relatives are buried. We doubled that with Family Home Evening. Eric gave the lesson while we were at the cemetary and talked about what Memorial day is really all about.

Both kids enjoyed walking around and were appropriately subdued thinking of the ages of some of the people we looked at headstones for...some small babies. Some young children just around their ages...some teenagers the age of big sissy and adults and "old" people. They admired the flowers and the flags and talked to their dad about him having to "go to war" now that he is in the Army.

Afterward we went to the Lilly farm (John's grandmother's farm) and walked around looking at the creek and the fields and he told us stories of when he was a kid.

it was a good Memorial day...a good reminder of how important family is and a good way to say thank you to the soldiers for our freedoms.

Columbia River Gorge

Its the most beautiful place in the world....here was our weekend trip to the fish hatchery and crown point in the Columbia River Gorge

New Car!

Woohoo! We traded in the Kia and Mazda for a shiny red (new to us) Subaru Forester. Pretty ain't she?

We really like her and are actually really excited to be a 1-car family now.

Hoorah for new cars!

Now...what shall we name her? Or, I guess him? Anyone? Anyone?

Lost Mims

Oh where oh where has our little cat gone?

Oh where oh where can she be?

We have been taking care of Sarah's kitties while she is gone and Mims has disappeared on us. Actually, Jacko didn't come home last night either. Its causing me stress....I want these kitties to be safe and feel loved, but what can I do other than keep them chained up in the garage? (not really chained, but confined...)

I hope she comes home soon...I hope Jacko doesn't disappear on me too....

Anybody know any good tricks for finding a lost kitty?

Driveway!

We got our driveway fixed today. It had been broken by a bunch of tree roots from a tree that we had cut down a couple of years.

With moving and having renters we figured we better get that "I tripped and now will sue your homeowners insurance for a million dollars for pain and suffering" hazard out of the way.

It was amazing how quickly they were able to do it...and how expensive it is! $800 dollars later we have a brand new 14X10 square in our driveway and NO ROOT! I wish we'd done it years ago!

We've got a rental openhouse tomorrow so it was completed just in time for all our potential renters to be safe and sound.

That being said...everyone keep their fingers crossed or say a little prayer that we find the right family for our home.

and again....

I can't even post what I'm thinking about today. More drama...only really...the comments from the last blog don't even come close to the hateful things that have been spitting out of Cruella's mouth.

We knew it would be bad.

Can I just say that I am actually looking forward to leaving in a month if only to get away from THIS for awhile!

May's drama

Well, Mr. C Talked to his kids about the pregnancy and the move. They were all very excited about the pregnancy and all very sad about the move.

Cruella, on the other hand...gave us the expected reaction. Her first comment was, "Well, when you said you had a couple of items for news I didn't think it was going to be a nuclear bomb."

More interesting comments:

How could you?

You have just lost your children.

Well, now that you have your own kids you can leave mine alone.

You have just lost your oldest daughter forever.

Of the one thing I thought I could count on it was you never having children with HER.

Well, I would have given you the kids for the whole summer, but now that she is pregnant you can only have them for 30 days at most and I'd prefer only the 2 weeks.

St. Louis

I spent Monday in St. Louis. I saw the city from the freeway on the way into the airport, The hotel on Market street, the arch from the hotel window, 2 square blocks walking to my meeting, and the city on the way back out to the hotel.

It was a good trip for business.
It was a bad trip for "seeing" St. Louis.

After 20 hours of being awake...I was very happy to finally be home.

Sleep...wonderful sleep...

Mothers day on the plane.

Happy Mother's day

Arrive at airport 6:30AM on Mother's day.
Plane gets delayed
Lady next to me tells me that we have Obama secret service agents on the flight and we'll get clearance...not to worry.
Announcement made 3 minutes later that plane is no longer delayed.

Arrive in Chicago and circle...circle...circle...for almost an hour.
Captain comes over the speaker to assure us that we have "at least 30 minutes of gas left."
Not feeling assured.
Plane finally lands.

Run Run Run to catch connector flight scheduled to leave in 15 minutes.
Make it to the B terminal with 5 minutes to spare.
Gate is closed.
Plead with flight attendant who opens the gate.
Sucky seat way at the back row in MIDDLE.
Flight attendant tells me to sit up front in "Economy PLUS" on aisle. **sighs of relief**

Plane held as next flight to St. Louis is delayed for 5+ hours.
Plane is totally filled up with standby passengers
Plane leaves and arrives in St. Louis at 4:30PM

$50 cab to hotel (what a ripoff!)
Immediately into meeting until 11:15PM
Sneak out to call my mom...
Spend 40 minutes talking to Mr. C
Asleep by 12:15AM

Happy Mother's day.

Arizona.....for real?

Well - its confirmed. Not with orders, but with verbal and written information that John needs to report to Ft. Huachuca on July 1, 2008. We will actually be driving away from Portland on June 24, 2008. I'm excited and nervous and sad. We'll have John's kids for his 2-week vacation from the last day of school, June 13th through the end of that time period.

I know this is going to be hard when he has to say goodbye to them. Luckily his parents agreed to watch them for two days after that so there is some cohesive "daddy loves you even though he is moving" feelings that the kids can rely on since I don't think Cruella will be offering any of that kindness.

Regardless, I'm hoping the excitement of John getting to move forward with the Army stuff will help him with the loneliness I'm sure he'll be feeling. Of course, I'll encourage frequent contact with them. Maybe we'll give Lexi a webcam and ask her to set it up for the kids and John every Sunday or something.

**sigh** I wish it was so much easier.

Old School

We just got back from a delectable dinner with Mr. C's parents at Claim Jumper...A celebration of sorts for a positive outcome to an unfortunate situation....

Why is it that everyone tells you that you will HATE your in-laws? I suppose they are supposed to be "different" from how you grew up or you hear about how bossy and/or nosy they are...

I have to be honest (and this is in no way slanted because I KNOW they read this blog...) but, I really love Mr. C's parents. They have a fabulous backyard with a garden area for the grandkids to go "dig" and plant sticks and things...which I distinctly remember being something my grandparents had for us and a great toybox that was available when you visit.... Yes, and they spoil the grandkids with toys and treats and LOVE...and love-spoiling is part of the job...as it should be for every grandparent...its the kind of spoiling that makes a kid feel like they are special and deserving instead of the kind that leaves a kid feeling entitled.

I suppose that I feel so comfortable with them because in a way they remind me of my own parents. They have a strong sense of right and wrong. They are thrifty and smart with their money. They value being independent and a self-made individual. In a way they are what would now be considered, "Old School." Its the way I would describe my own mother and father and...heaven forbid that we admit that we ended up like our parents, but its true, Mr. C and I.

I have such a hard time with parents that won't let their kids fail...or won't let them succeed. Instead they think that "fair" is the only way to go. I have to wonder if they live in the same world where I live...Fair....its rarely going to go that way. Mr. C and I think kids can lose at a game and its not going to be the end of the world and some kids get one thing while another doesn't and it won't derail their sense of importance and kids don't need every toy thats advertised and priveledges are just that and not expectations or something children are entitled to...and my favorite soapbox item...consequences for poor behavior.

Phew...now that its out of my system. I think I just want to end this by saying that its nice being friends with your in-laws. I really like it. :)

ITS HERE...THE UNIVIPER!

Hit and Run

He was biking home from work - late one evening. A car careens around the street and smashed into him. Knocked unconcious he awakens hours later to find himself in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

This is a true story and it happened to my brother-in-law early Saturday morning. He is in the hospital in Austin, TX with 4 boken vertebrae and major trauma all over his body.

My sister, found out Saturday morning at 9AM when he was finally able to call her once the doctors were done with x-rays and other stuff. His family found out next and what a blessing that his mother is a registered nurse of 20+ years.

Luckily he is doing well...doesn't require and surgery and is expected to heal completely. Just keep saying those prayers and murmur good thoughts and magic healing dust that nothing changes.

Curse the hit and run driver...there are better ways to understand that things in your life that are precious can be taken away at any time.