3 months

We just passed the 3 month mark for deployment.  Only 9 months to go.  If you haven't read my letter to deployment...let me give you the cliff notes version...

Dear deployment:

You suck.

Sincerely,

Me.

Hoping for things...

Yeah...so I'm still in update mode.  Thats what you get when you don't blog for almost two full months.  I've got a ton more stories to share...most of them in "travel log" format so I hope you don't get tooo bored. 

We are all still living in limbo land.  No finality on our move, no finality on the date, no finality on this baby's birth and really...its starting to wear on me and mine.  That means lots of highs and lots of lows in our house...its been a rough year so far....mostly on the adults.  We can't seem to get it together...we can't seem to connect the way we need to connect.  And having just passed the "married for six years" mark I am wondering if we aren't falling right into that 7-year itch cliche'?

But, its about hope, right?  So, as long as I can see some kind of light at the end of this long extremely dark tunnel then I can still consider myself a little bit of an optimist?  I do, however, think my smile muscles may have atrophied during the past few months...they are having a hard time getting back to their formerly spunky selves...

But, don't worry...things always seem to work out the way they are supposed to in the end...and in the spirit of keeping things bright and happy I'll pretty much just be sharing all those "highs" we've had...and since I currently am having a hard time saying anything witty or wonderful I'm going to let other people say it for me....

Our little dancer....a story.

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Bella Boo who loved to dance.  So, her mama signed her up for dance classes.  She was SOOOOO excited!  On the first day of dance clase she even got to see her best friend who was ALSO signed up for dance class.

While the children liked the class just fine and they learned how to do dances like "walk like a penguin" and "stomp the alligator"...the mama did not like the teacher and decided to only put her in the class for one month.

She did learn this cool move...

Which when I asked her to do it again with her eyes open I got this great photo...

Ha ha...I guess I got what I asked for.  And that is the end of our very short story.

Now there is a second story about a little girl who loved to paint her nails...  First she painted her nails with her daddy...

And then she painted her nails with her mama...

And she got very sad when all the nail painting was done.

But agreed to cheer up for a picture as long as mama put it in Black and White.

Oh the simple things that make kids happy.  And that is The End.  :)

Ugh...more rain. :(

I'm sick with a bad cold and just grumpy. It's supposed to be SNOWING by now.  We've had two mornings of sorta snow that turned into rain and its just miserable.  Ugh...go away rain.  You are depressing me.

Its so hard to be two....

Its her favorite thing to say these days...when something just doesn't quite go her way.  Does that still work at 37?

Got a speeding ticket?  It's so hard to be 37...

Gained a few pounds?  It's so hard to be 37...

Don't want to make dinner?  It's so hard to be 37...

Not in the mood to fold the laundry?  It's so hard to be 37...

I do believe she may be onto something...It's so hard to be 37!!!

Light a candle...

Light a candle until they all come home...

Today I opened up my email to find (at my last count) the 15th Fallen Dragoon message from our rear detachment commander.

Fifteen soldiers who have died in the past 10 months...

Today's email hit me so hard.  In two and 1/2 months these soldiers come home.  I'm sure this soldier thought he was nearly done....headed home...in the last stretch.  I'm sure of that because thats what I have been thinking and feeling.  They're almost home!  We're nearly done!

But the reality is that its 2 1/2 more months and anything can happen.

And as I read that email message and considered the life of this young soldier I couldn't help but cry for him and his family.

Just say a little extra prayer for our soldiers tonight. 

And if you have an extra 20 minutes to spare...these moving tributes of fallen soldiers everywhere can really put into perspective how much they gave...

10 things I miss...

1.  Someone to walk Maddie to school in the morning instead of me rushing her out the door...almost always 5 minutes late...  I think being late is genetic.  I blame my father.

2.  Cooking good food for a full sized family... like this lasagna.  Which, this is the 2nd lasagna I've ever made in my life.  The first was a complete disaster.  It was about an inch thick because the sauce was too runny and I actually served the disaster to my mother and father in law.  (I'm so sorry you had to be part of my "learn to cook" experiment featuring lasagna!) 

I decided I had improved enough in my cooking skills for another try.  Used Pioneer Womans' recipe.  I nailed it.  (So proud of me!)

3.  Hair by dad...  Maybe its the constant grind of day to day...but I'd forgotten how much fun bathtub hair could be. 

 4.  Someone to paint my toenails for...

5.  Breakfast in bed!  I suppose it would be irresponsible for me to allow an 8 year old and a 2 year old to cook me breakfast without adult supervision...but when dad's around...guess what mom got! 

6.  Photos when you aren't quite ready...  (every time I look at this picture I laugh outloud.)

7.  Bella brushing daddy's mesmerizing hair...Its hard not to let your eyes wander up to his bangs when you stand there talking to him.  Mesmerizing.

8.  Romantic kisses... 

 9.  Kids trying to make daddy laugh... 

10.  Do I really need to even caption this one? 

Seven with one blow...

Remember the story about the little tailor who killed seven flies with one swat and it got turned into seven giants with one blow?

Well, our 7th giant fell today.  Seven months of deployment behind us...commemorated with a morale call from John where he told me he loved me and missed me and was proud of me...

...and the tears started rolling.

Seven months sounds so...well, so do-able when you type it out like that, but lest anyone not realize how LONG deployments really feel - we're talking about  28 weeks - two semesters of college - over 1/2 year - 7 major holidays - 217 days... 

Pick your poison...  I personally like to count the days when I'm feeling bitter or lonely or sad and want to wallow a little bit.  TWO HUNDRED SEVENTEEN DAYS. 

I just yelled that at you.  Thats how I wallow.  I may have even done a little heavenward fist shaking for emphasis...

In one month from today he should be home for R&R.  In one month he should be laying on the couch with his head in my lap letting me play with his hair while the girls snuggle beside him or play near us.   THAT sounds like heaven to me.  THAT sounds like the best day in the whole world.

My outlook on what Heaven is has changed drastically since this deployment...it used to include bonbons,  a perfect body that never required shaving or exercise, the ability to fly and Pantene hair - you know...the hair that shines and swirls around your face?

Now I just want to hold John in my arms and play with his hair.  Thats good enough for me...let me be lumpy, plumpy, hairy,  whatever...as long as I've got him close to me. 

So, if you can't tell, I'm lonely tonight.  I'm in the mood to cry.  I don't feel strong.  I don't WANT to do this anymore.  I just want it to be DONE already.,

But until then...and for today...at the very least I can say that I killed 7 with one blow...